Comedy Central, Meet Facebook

I think an introduction is in order. Comedy Central? Please meet Facebook. Facebook? Please meet Comedy Central. The two of you have an awful lot in common. Dumbassery being the prominent trait that led me to believe that you guys should hook up. Both of you, Comedy Central and Facebook, saw it completely appropriate to censor "images" of the "prophet" Muhammed because it was "offensive to Muslims". The two of you should be very happy together. Morons.

Here's the latest: You might remember (or not, I don't really know) about a month or so ago, Comedy Central heavily censored an episode of the perpetually offensive to humans (and simultaneously hilarious to humans as well) cartoon which is not for children (it's barely for adults) South Park. The episode in question allegedly depicted the alleged prophet, Muhammed, in a big bear suit. Apparently, even though it was a cartoon and even though no one has any idea what Muhammed looks like and even though no one really even saw Muhammed because he was IN the cartoon bear suit, it was still deemed "offensive" to Muslims. Really?

I'm really hard pressed for a time in my life when I have honestly been "offended". Even the folks who leave moronic comments on this blog don't offend me. Actually, those really amuse me. (My favorite was the one guy who called me an "ignorant and ethnocentric blogger". Can you believe that? Blogger?!) But really, lots of things that lots of people do every day are offensive. So why is it that when the extremist Muslim community gets offended do some people even bother paying attention and attempt to placate their wishes with censorship? Because they get rather 'splodey when they're offended.

See, when the Muslim extremists get all upset, their solution is death. Just kill the infidel who has wronged them and things will be fine. And there is no reasoning with those folks because they believe (or justify) that they're doing what they're doing in the name of religion. You really can't argue people out of their beliefs (no matter how bass-ackwards they are) that easily. I guess that's why Facebook got all censor-y on us.

There was a Facebook page called "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" and it promoted everybody drawing Muhammed on May 20th as a protest in light of Comedy Central censoring South Park because of veiled death threats directed at the creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Apparently, a couple of weeks ago, Pakistan blocked all access to Facebook because of the page. They found it to be blasphemous. To which I say, "Whatever." But apparently, that's just me because Facebook said (in essence), "Oh, my God (Allah), you're offended?! You're going to block all access to Facebook because of that page? Well, we'll take it down right away! We are sorry. Please unblock access so that we may continue to enjoy revenue from ads we place on the site via information that we sell." I was paraphrasing, of course, but you get the drift.

According to the huffy folks over there at The Huffington Post, a one Majibullah Malik (pronounce that however you'd like), who is the secretary of the information technology ministry in Pakistan, "In response to our protest, Facebook has tendered their apology and informed us that all the sacrilegious material has been removed from the URL." Tendered their apology? What in the world were they apologizing for, exactly?

Malik also claimed that "Facebook assured the Pakistani government that nothing of this sort will happen in the future." Nothing of what sort? Free speech? I've got news for you, Pakistan. I don't give a fat rat's ass what you think. Why in the world Facebook does, I'm not quite sure. But what I do know is that the folks that run Facebook are a bunch of pansies (I wanted to use the other "P" word, but I'm trying to lend a bit of credibility to my argument so that I don't come across as simply hot-headed. That's not to say that I'm not. Oh, I've built up a full head of steam over this one.)

And get this: "Anger over the Facebook controversy also prompted the Pakistani government to block access to YouTube briefly, saying there was growing sacrilegious content on the video sharing website. The government restored access to YouTube last week but said it would continue to block videos offensive to Muslims that are posted on the site." I guess I find it interesting that they're only interested in blocking videos that are offensive to Muslims. Have you been to YouTube lately? There's something on there to offend just about every kind of human being on the planet. Reading the comments alone are enough to lower your IQ by about 10 to 20 points. There are over two billion videos on YouTube. Watching every single one of them start to finish, front to back, would take over 200 years. Good luck blocking all of those "offensive to Muslim" videos, Pakistan. Good luck with that.

What I don't get is if they can just block offensive videos on YouTube, why couldn't they just block the "offensive" page on Facebook? I mean, seriously, it's not like that's the ONLY page on Facebook that would be "offensive" to Muslims. That's the other reason why I don't understand why Facebook removed it. There are plenty more out there that would fall into the "offensive" category. Of course, Facebook could not be reached for comment. (Ironic, considering the purpose of Facebook is to continually share information. Yet, we can't get in touch with Facebook when we want to. Again, I say, "Whatever.")

This has got to stop. Freedom of speech is one of the most important concepts that is necessary for a truly free society to exist. What part of that do people not understand? When did people start getting so freaking soft that just because one group starts whining that they don't like something and implying that folks are going to die for it that people start apologizing and caving into their demands? When did this happen?

The face that Facebook took down that page shows them to be ridiculously hypocritical. They're always talking about the freedom to share information. Well, hey, dipwads! What do you think that "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" page was doing? Sharing information, that is correct! But that isn't relevant because a bunch of folks in one of the crazy sand lands are "offended"?! Are you kidding me?! What in the world do I care what Pakistan thinks about Facebook? That's right! I DON'T care! You know why? Because they're Pakistan! And because it's a freedom of speech issue!

Good Lord, my head hurts. We're doomed. And screwed. Scroomed. We're scroomed, I tell you.

Happy Everybody Draw Muhammed Day

Look, I'm not an overly political activist-y type of person. But if I can make some sort of a stand whilst sitting from the comfort of my walled-off compound, I'll think about it. And today, I've decided to sit here in front of my computer and take a stand.

Today is "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day". According to the self-proclaimed fair and balanced folks over there at Fox News, "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" was the brainchild of a one cartoonist from Seattle, Molly Norris. Molly was appalled (as anyone else who values the freedom of speech and expression should have been) at Comedy Central's decision about a month ago to censor an episode of South Park which showed the prophet, Muhammed, in a bear suit. Wait. In a....?

Correct. In a bear suit. See, it's apparently against some sort of Muslim or Islamic tenet to depict the prophet Muhammed at all. And so even though he was in a bear suit, that was enough for a bunch of tools over at something called RevolutionMuslim.com to post a message which read “We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show…This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.” I see. (By the way, Theo Van Gogh ended up dead in the street. Oh, but it's not a threat.)

You know, they can say it's not a threat, but it certainly sounds very threat-ish to me. You know, radical Muslims or Muslim extremists or whatever you want to call them sure do get awfully riled up over cartoons. Wow. And of course, their solution is to just kill people who don't agree with them. Yeah, that seems perfectly normal. Or not.

Molly explained that she had felt "...that Viacom or Comedy Central had overreacted to a veiled threat from a tiny blog or website that not many people even belong to, and I think it just set a precedent for a slippery slope in censorship." She also said that "If artists have to be afraid of what they draw, then what’s the point of even living here? That's what really bothered me." Good point.

Her solution (since we're really kind of grasping at straws with how to handle nutjobs that can't be reasoned with because they justify all of their actions as being under the guise of some sort of religion that sanctions their killing anyone who breaks rules that they don't even have to follow) was that if the market was saturated with images of Muhammed then it would be a demonstration of some sort of solidarity by people who "....will not be intimidated or silenced by those who want to subjugate us simply because they find what we do offensive." I couldn't agree more.

Look, if you've ever watched an episode of South Park for more than a few minutes, you know how ridiculous it is for a group to issue a veiled death threat over some dude in a bear suit (some dude, by the way, who isn't even real as it's a freaking cartoon!). There are FAR more things that are FAR more offensive to get yourself all worked up over. Seriously. I watched an episode last night that had me cringing at times. I'm just going to say that there were gerbils involved and leave it at that. Well, and I wanted to stab my eyes out before it was over. (You can click here if you want to know more. But I'm warning you, that episode should have been rated NO for No One!) But my point is that threatening someone's life over their drawing a cartoon bear is insane. And Comedy Central was insane for editing and censoring the episode.

Therefore, I am totally supporting "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day". I'm not an artist. I don't play one on TV. I didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. But today, I am drawing Muhammed and posting my drawing here. I'm not afraid of backlash or veiled threats. I am afraid of the First Amendment to our Constitution being squelched because of fear. I'm not going to just sit here (figuratively speaking, of course) and be OK with a group of people trying to scare others into submission. This isn't a stand taken out of disrespect. It's a stand taken sitting down and it's one that's taken out of necessity.

Here is my Muhammed. He's at work. And he's tired. So he's taking a little nap. The office is bright, so he needs that newspaper over his face so that he can get some proper rest. Happy "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day". Now go out there and stand up for something! Even if you have to do it sitting down!